She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
