Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
