There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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