I'm so fucking centered right now
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
