We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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