roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
