I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
