I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
