the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
