we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
