I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
