Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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