I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
