I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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