I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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