Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
