i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
