You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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