a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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