based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
