Don't make out with my wife yet
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
