No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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