the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
