i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
