stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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