So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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