we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My ass is underappreciated
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
