She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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