I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
