my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
