bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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