3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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