Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Randomize
