go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
