I just pynch a tree in the face
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
