I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
