Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
