he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
