Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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