my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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