its not stalking. its research.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
