He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
