my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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