guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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