She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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