i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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