he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
