it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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