Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
