I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
