People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
