All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
