Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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