Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
