I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i think i have two assholes
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
